So I really enjoy listening to the webinar’s given by NBN. Of course being who I am and at times all over the place I have been catching the webinars out of order. The weekend I listened to the pre-aliyah planning session as well as bringing pets along to make aliyah. Now I had a meeting at 10 am which is when the Pet’s one was happening but its great because they will send you a recording of it if you request it (which I have done). Any way one of the things I learned during this weekends webinar was that once I land at Ben , during the time when they give me all of these important documents which I will not go into, I will have the opportunity to change my name legally for free. When I learned this I felt even more like making aliyah is right for me. It’s not the same as my desire to go to Paris but this is going home. To my homeland with my jewish family.
Why do I feel even more connected? I mean I changed my name when I converted and received a Hebrew name. Well, over the past couple of weeks I have been thinking about my future as well army children’s future. I do not know if I will find my husband but I do know that I want kids. More importantly I know that I am not a Lang. My father;s last name. This is a man whom I have never met in my life. Who pretty much decided that I couldn’t possibly be his child even though my mother and he conceived my older brother nine years previous to my birth and well my brother and I (but really my nephew and I) look extremely alike. The family I was raised with, whom I’m connected with our the Ceasar’s. We make jokes all the time about the Ceasar family in my family and I love it. It’s who I am. I want my children to represent the Ceasar family. So I had decided that somehow some way my children will have the name Ceasar in their name. They will NOT have Lang.
So why have I not given up on the name Lang? I toss this around a lot. I’ve been Jessica Lang for 32 years and I’ve worked hard in school and to become a licensed therapist. I am Jessica Lang-Therapist. But I am also Jessica Lang a jew. More to the point I am Chana daughter of Abraham and Sarah. This is he first time I have written this and I seriously felt so moved. Maybe I really am Chana Ceasar. What about Jessica Chana Ceasar? Jessica Chana Lang? How about Chana Jessica Ceasar? or Lastly Chana Jessica Ceasar Lang. Yes, I’m thinking all add the Chana and the Ceasar, and when I make aliyah and step off the plane at Ben Gurion I will be Chana Ceasar-Lang.