Trying to decide what to pack has been incredibly hard. When you make aliyah you get three bags to take on the El Al flight but they must each be under 50 pounds or else you pay extra. (although I just learned that if you make aliyah this December then you get an extra bag for free). Now it’s not super expensive to pay more but really who wants to carry around bags that way more than 50 pounds any way. This is just the physical demand of it. Emotionally it is hard to. When you pack you essentially look at your life-like a history of all that you have done and accomplished. It’s kind of surreal. Because I’m packing a week earlier than I had intended I have been avoiding tapping into any time of emotions around this, essentially dissociating and only thinking about what is right in front of me (or watching episodes of the tv show Monk).
So today I decided it was time for packing. I took down my massive desk and then set about putting materials into bags. I decided to divide them into 1) Therapy Materials 2) Kitchen and Bathroom 3) Bedroom/Living room materials. Well after filling my therapy bag to the brim I didn’t feel a sense of relief. Instead I felt the weight of the bag and knew that I had stuffed it to much and would have to take things out.
Whats also going through my mind right now is my renewed focus on developing my private practice. So I feel conflicted about bringing all of my play therapy materials or just leaving them. I do plan to sublet an office in Jerusalem that is kid friendly. So really do I need to bring my own toys. (So later I decided to take almost everything out except for the books and place the toys into bins to bring at a later date. I then felt a sense of calm).
The other awesome thing about making aliyah is that you get to bring in 3 separate tax free shipments. 1 shipment will be my car (in just under three years) and the second was going to be a lift. I have plans/hopes that I’ll be able to send for a lift around March or April when I have my own place and some money in the bank. So maybe, if I’m smart, I should think about the long game. The long game is to work my butt off, save up money and then bring in a lift. So again I feel a sense of calm over this decision.
The other interesting thing about making aliyah for me is that I spent all year saving money. This was so I could have a fusion while I job hunted. Well now that I’ve been without a job for a month and I’m tapping into the savings account I have been thinking more and more about my private practice. This is really my big dream. I had always thought I would split time between an agency and a private practice but the longer I have been in the game at the agency the more I’ve craved the autonomy of private practice. So I have decided to recommit, now that I have the time and the energy, to focus on my work dream. There is such a need for therapists out there and I really want to be more available less burned out to heal others.
So I spent the day creating my goal sheet-a vision board for me to be able to visualize and make a point to achieve my goals.
Through the whole aliyah process I have felt like I have had to opportunity to start over. To do all the things I wished I did before. To focus more on the long goal rather than the short term-the ability to delay gratification and seek comfort and stability.