Stories

Sorry y’all I’ve been absent and really there is no reason why other than the days being just about the same. 5 days a week I wake up at 4:30, walk my dog, return home, shower, get on the bus, go to work, work at 8 and leave at 4:30, get on the bus, go home, walk my dog, eat some dinner, and go to bed. Tuesdays are dedicated to my business, to therapy and networking. Saturdays I walk my dog an do a little work for business, catch up on sleep, and then go back to bed. Oh yes I’m living the life (insert sarcastic laughter now). It’s been like this since I moved to Tel Aviv. There have been some times here and there were I’ve had some fun in my life. I have reached out to therapists here in Tel Aviv and now I have two new friends. One friend and I will be hanging out on my next day off (wahoo) and the other we will be talking about starting to run therapy groups together (yay). I’m also looking at an office space and finally going to some building on Menachem Begin to set up my business in Israel. I also did my taxes (still traumatized so we are not talking about it). I went to the cafe with my friend of ten years and she helped me with a (failed) fb ad campaign and we talked a little about her wedding (so exciting-not sarcasm). 

The only amusement I’ve had since I’ve arrived is not being able to shake a man I went on two dates with (we had no chemistry and dear G-d he was a little to creepy for me) and getting my hair done and visiting the city of Hadera (very cute). Just a note of advice ladies: always trust your gut!! If you think someone is weird or there is just something “off” about a man then take head and say goodbye. Don’t even do the “maybe we can be friends” because these types of dudes take it to another level. 

So this explains my absence. Life has become routine here. The magic has not warn off, especially since I still feel like I’m moving through Israel like a toddler (every day I see or learn something new), but I don’t have to many wow moments any more. So in the spirit of this I’d like to share some stories of the things that I’ve seen here, so you wont feel like you just read a boring as blog. 

The week of Pesach I did not work, but I baby sat two times. I babysit the cutest little guy every and his 8 y/o brother. I also thoroughly enjoy his parents, and if I ever stop making minimum wage I would hire his mom to be my personal trainer just as an excuse to hang out because she’s freakin cool. So during the babysitting there were two boys there, one who was like 6 or 7 and the other maybe around 9.There parent was not around. These boys were awful. The little guy I baby sit for aka the cutest little guy ever is only 1 and a half and the 6/7 y/o boy was trying to hurt him.So I had to yell Di (enough in Hebrew) and lo (no in Hebrew) for him to stop. Side note I really need to get my Hebrew on par because I needed to tell him more. Then the two boys with no parents just kept fighting each other. After being there for an hour their dad came in and it was calm for about 5 minutes. Then the 6/7 y/o hurt the 9 y/o and the 9y/o started to cry. So do you think the dad went and hugged his crying son and then disciplined the 6/7 y/o? The answer is no. What he did do, because the 9 y/o started hitting the 6/7 y/o the father actually grabbed the 6/7 y/o by his ear, threw him to the ground, and kicked him. Now we are at the Gymboree and no one has shoes on and it wasn’t particularly hard the kick but it was the message behind it all. For the whole hour before these boys were out of control fighting and the little one tried to hit me and the cutest kid little guy ever (the 8 y/o is the sweetest kid ever and he could handle his own). I got it all on video because it was so disturbing. 

Yesterday (Friday) I woke up to a text message from two coworkers. They created a group chat about my bosses birthday. So they stated that they wanted to do a Stars Wars theme for her and everyone would have to put in 28 shekels and then do something else. I didn’t read it all because it made me mad. Why the hell should I buy my boss a birthday present? You know who I buy presents for? Loved ones! And I can tell you with complete confidence she is not a loved one. She attempted to friend request me on fb and she got the block. I’m sure she is a nice woman but we are not friends-this is an employer employee relationship. So I called my mother (hey mama) as I walked my dog to the beach and basically talked her ear off about why I wasn’t doing this. Might I also add that I make minimum wage (35 shekel an hour) and I’m all ready not getting paid for a weeks worth of work because of vacation. So now I’m not putting in an hours worth of work into a present for my boss. Now I’ll sign a card. And while I’m on this, do men do this shit? I mean really men do you decide your going to buy your boss a gift and then expect your coworkers to put in money for it? I need to know, because I’ve never met a man who would do this. 

Also happened yesterday at work is one of the head teachers for the other class losing her shit (which she pretty much does once a month as far as I can tell) about some bubbles. So I’m head teacher (insert sarcastic yay) while my head teacher is in the States. So my kid are outside (this is Thursday) and here comes the head teacher who loses her shit “Jess here are some bubbles“. Now let me share that I never asked her or stated I’m looking for bubbles so I said ok thanks. I blew a few and then I went to take a child to the bathroom. My assistant I gave her the bubbles and she could have at it. So the day finishes and I notice the bubbles were gone so I toss the container in the garbage. So fast forward to yesterday and teacher who loses her shit says “Jessica do you have the bubbles”. And I said “yeah they are all gone”. She goes (voice raising) “What? How do you go through a whole thing of bubbles.” I said “I gave them to (assistants name) and she used them with the kids.” So she says (voice still raised) “I lent them to you and when I let you borrow something I expect it back”. She then turns to my poor assistant, who came in feeling sick, and yells at her “How could you go through a whole thing of bubbles? I got those from Greece…”. So of course I apologize to my assistant and now I feel bad for home girl because she is going to be working with her next school year. 

3bubble wand

Said bubbles looked like this but in yellow

If they told me I would work with her next year I would quit-lol. Now I might add this is not the first time that she has lost her shit (hence her name is the teacher who lost her shit). She once yelled at me randomly because papers from child’s party had fallen off the wall in the side yard and they were on the ground and she “was tired of picking up after our class”. Now that one you can blame on my head teacher haha. But let me tell you I do not send my kids to that yard when I am head teacher because she is just yells all the time. And the interesting thing was that When she yelled yesterday I was holding one very sleepy and whiny child (who I love oh so much). So teacher who loses her shit yells and my poor child puts her head up and looks terrified. So of course I stayed calm, because if you yell at me I’m ready to box, but I had the baby so my heart needed to be a steady calm (that’s a child therapist for you there) and I handled her. But really she is so inappropriate. I also know, because I overhear these people talking all the time, that she feels stressed at home and she has a very small support system, so she becomes easily triggered at work when those feelings come up (like people not helping her or people taking advantage of her).

Also yesterday I’m on the crowded gotta get home before the buses stop running for shabbat bus and I sit across from some weird man. Well I suddenly see a cockroach crawling up his leg and I’m thinking how gross this is and I should say something and then this fool begins to pick his nose. Just sticks his fingers up there and wait for the best part. He then flings the contents almost hitting the guy sitting in the set across the aisle from him. So I just stare at him as he keeps picking his nose and getting rid of the contents around him. I’m telling you this is why you gotta stay aware of your surroundings because you might get boogers flinged on you or you might end up taking a cockroach home with you. 

Lastly I attempted to buy a bed (finally) but it was a fail because I didn’t have enough credit left on my credit card. The lady attempted to explain it all but hell I don’t know what the hell she was talking about. So when I go to the store to tell them never mind the guy was very persistent with the sale and also not happy that I was saying take it all off. I’m like I’ll come back in May (after pay day) to just buy it outright but he was having none of it. I was too tired to argue so I said fine whatever-so now I’ve bought a mattress and I’m looking for a frame so the mattress doesn’t have to be on the floor. 

So because this blog deserves a little ending which also serves as y’all holding me accountable for things that I need to do. 

#1 learn Hebrew. At this moment I don’t have time or energy for Ulsan but I would like to start after the high holy days in the fall. In the meantime its going to be a lot of listening to music, watching tv, attempting conversations, and just learning key phrases. 

#2 my practice. I have to get clients and get my own office. I have found that my ultimate dream would be to have my own clinic for english speakers looking for mental health support here in Tel Aviv. It’s so hard for English speakers to get treatment from native English speakers and the insurance doesn’t help so I would like to create something large to fill this gap. I also really want to do consultations at pre-school, man I would love to help the teachers at my job be less stressed, learn how to regulate themselves, stopping being disrespectful to assistants, and understand child development. I also feel like my boss needs a little help in this area too. 

#3 I want to see every city in Israel and have a friend in every city. 

#4 kind of ties with #3 and that’s to just have more fun in my life. The weather is getting nicer and Jaffa is right here. Tel Aviv is a cool city where you can take your dog everywhere so I want to walk around more with her and just sit and relax. Read a book. Drink some tea or limonana (aka mint and lemonade). 

#5 I’m hitting that dating scene (but please G-d! No more crazies). 

So until next time my friends…

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