July Reflections

Hello my friends from here in Israel, back home in California, and of course the few IMG_6799random folks who’ve some how found this blog. Hope your all enjoying my crazy life adventures in Israel. Next month is my friend and trusted hair dresser, Chaya Lev’s aliyaversary so I basically invited myself to her home in Haderah on my day off to do some morning Yoga and just hang out. I really do love celebrating accomplishments, birthdays, etc with my friends and loved ones, so I’m looking forward to a whole lot of laughter because really when we hang out we just bust up all the time. 

As her aliyahversary approaches I have been reflecting on my 7 months in Israel. I am a big dreamer and I always have a lot of goals. I think it’s the Capricorn in me, but I’m always striving for more and more. I can’t just settle for anything. Since my life goal is to be happy, I’m proud that even in the face of tough times the moment of happiness and gratitude always finds a a way of shinning some light in my life. 

So with all this in mind I’ve had really interesting past week, thats got me thinking. I joined a consult group, which is online, and with other American women who have private therapy practices. Part of our work together includes homework, getting to know each other, and really just supporting each other as we grow and achieve our individual (practice) goals. Bonus is that the woman running it is kind of  genius and I really love working with her. So part of the homework included networking, which I really love. I really like meeting people and hearing their stories. I love having a massive circle of friends and acquaintances, people who are both different and similar to me. I like to think of myself as a complex person and no matter who I meet if I click with them I always find we have a little something in common. So in that regard, networking is fun because I just never know who I will meet. Who will be a source of professional but also personal support. Will we just be business acquaintances or will we be friends? 

Well I had two encounters this week where I really liked the people yet I found that they had a different attitude with regards to business and their practices than I did. Now again I’ve only been in Israel 7 months and these people have been here for years, and they can speak better Hebrew than I do, so maybe they know a little bit more than I do about life. So I’ll take heed, even these woman, who basically told me that its a waste to network in Israel because people were all competing for the same clients blah blah blah, was something Just don’t agree with. This is an example of what we call a “scarcity” mindset at it’s finest. 

On top of all these interactions I had a conversation with a coworker about home buying in Israel. I said emphatically that I was buying a home some day in Israel to which the coworkers reply was unless I had some family member to give me money or had a home all ready it just wouldn’t happen. What pops up on fb today is someone asking a question about getting money for a down payment and people said the same thing-it just isn’t gonna happen for this woman and her family. 

This week I was surrounded by negative talk and beliefs from folks. It’s like everyone is feeling financial stress around me and they can only see life through those filters. Or maybe they tried really hard to accomplish their own goals and failed so they want to pass on their wisdom to others. While at the same time as I’m surrounded by negativity, I’m doing a rejection challenge with my friend (we basically have to do one thing a day where we ask for something with a high likelihood that the person will say no so we can find out the reasons why its a no and also get used to feeling rejected. It sounds deeper than it is but here is the video) and also finding inspiration in Neil Gaiman with his speech “Make Good Art” (You have to see it to understand it). 

With all of the competing interests swirling around me this week I got the idea to make a list of all the things I want to do that people tell me are impossible (for whatever reason) and go about knocking them off my list. I just don’t believe things are impossible but I do think that much of what we want to do or accomplish require a lot of smart hard work, which can be a challenge for most of us, especially in the age of distractions and instant gratifications. When I am having a hard time here, sad because I’m missing friends weddings in the states or wishing that I could afford the taxes and delivery charges from things in the US to Israel, I remind myself that this life I’m building is a marathon not a sprint. That I have planned to start over and just see where the journey takes me. As long as I have friends, both here in Israel and back in California, I can’t go wrong in this life. And when I was really feeling overwhelmed my good friend Barbara reminded me that I have accomplished so much in just the 7 months that I have lived here. That I should take a moment to be proud of myself for these accomplishments and know that I will achieve the goals I desire, step by step. So this blog is for you Barbara, missing you tons. 

So here is my list to knock off:

  • Buy a home/Apartment
  • Bring my car from US
  • Live Debt Free
  • Do Napa Fellowship
  • Have Full time successful private practice that supports my lifestyle
  • Learn Hebrew (this one is not really impossible but for now I’m learning with talking with friends not at Ulpan which everyone wants me to do like yesterday) 

8 months down, 4 more to go (before its my 1 year aliyayversary

Entering the 8 month of my aliyah and I just can’t believe how fast time is moving. Last August I was at an agency job that I didn’t really enjoy, (I mean who wants to work 8 hours straight 5 straight days a week) and now I’m living in Israel.  I was counting down the time back then and to think now I’m here. Wow!

8 months ago I thought I would be living in Jerusalem. I envisioned a full practice by this time and a beautiful apartment in the Germany Colony or some place like that. 8 months in and I’m living in Tel Aviv working at a gan and still not where I want my practice to be, still dreaming of something more. 

It’s been such a crazy 8 months and I’ve been through 2 seasons and I’m about to enter fall and the high holy days. Still no synagogue or religious community but friends who have become family and friends who are natives helping me with my Hebrew-these are the goals that were not necessarily on my list when I was thinking about where I would be at this point in time and yet they have occurred. This is something that keeps me going when times get rough.

As I continue to reflect I cannot believe I have been at my job at the gan for 8 months. I was only planning on being here until August. I had hoped that my practice would be full by this point in time and stable enough so that I would only need one job. But my boss liked me and clients haven’t found me so I am here for another 6 months. In truth I have mixed feelings about this. Anyone who knows me knows I absolutely hate being told what to do and I crave my freedom and autonomy even more. So working for someone else is not really what I want to do. Yet I’m continuing on with 2-3 year olds next year, working with a teacher who will be cool and getting to spend time with a couple kids I all ready know and love which will only teach me more about this population which I like working with. Yet I feel some fear that having this job, which is honestly suppose to be back up not primary in my responsibilities will take over and I will be stuck. Moving further and further away from my goal. The further I move away from therapy and psychology the more uncertain about myself and my skills I become. This is what worries me and keeps me up at night. 

While working at this gan, I’ve made some friends-some are moms and some are coworkers, and it’s great. In a weird way they all have inspired me to continue to dream. It’s almost like when I moved I was so caught up with the newness of it all that I lost a little bit of my vision and a whole lot of my fire. I have three weeks off from work and I plan to use this time to act as if I was working full time my practice-so it wont really be a vacation. As it is I’ve been hit up for babysitting in Italy, which I sadly hd to turn down because they asked my boss about it first and she said no (another reason to be mad at my job) and then I was hit up by a parent to do some babysitting this week (I offered for only two days because I have to practice saying “no”). These are the interesting work things that are happening to me right now. 

On the other hand I am apart of a wonderful consult group with therapists building their ideal practice and we have each other as support. So I’m looking to them and the coach in charge to help me get grounded. Just this past week she and I met online and she helped me focus on the online therapy part of my business which feels right for me at this time. I really do believe in online therapy and it’s no different then meeting face to face in my humble opinion. I just wish others weren’t so apprehensive about it. 

Any way the next three weeks will be good for me, not focusing on the gan. I’m going to use this time to live my ideal life. To create a boundary between work and personal and make sure I attend equally to both parts. With the full time job and then the practice on the side I’ve pretty much neglected my personal life, which is terrible self care. So I’m hoping to get in a couple hikes, spend some time with friends I haven’t seen in forever who live all over this small ass country, and to just lay out and read or something.